Portrait of depressed teenage girl sitting on staircase.
Suicide is on the rise in our country. We can blame it on culture, personality disorder, or sickness. Blame whoever you want, blame does little to solve the problem. As a person who works with the statistics, and see them I will tell you that the route that produces the most hope for me is to spend more time looking at the individuals in your life. The ones I can try to help. The loved ones or individuals I work with. The first thing that I tell people who are looking to help their loved ones is to watch for the signs. Here are a few.
1. Insomnia- Sleeping patters are on every psych intake I’ve ever seen… why? because it is vital for mental and physical health. Sleeping too much is also a form of insomnia. Asking those loved ones in your home at your office “how’d you sleep” can give some very valuable information and can be a sign worth watching.
2. Talking about wanting to die- No, I’m not talking about the jokes in poor taste that come after long procedural meetings at work. (although frequencey and detail can give light to alarming information) I’m talking about people who conversationally give glimpses that they do not value their lives. Hopelessness is a symptom of major serious depression.
3. Loss of loved ones- Can be death, can be break ups but pathology commonly associated with suicide are often closely affiliated with loss of a loved one or feelings of abandonment.
4. Withdrawing- isolating from loved ones or loved hobbies is also a sign that one should watch out for.
There is no calculative list, and honestly sometimes the signs are hidden. Sometimes tragedy happens and that is not the fault of the survivors; More research will give more lists of things one could watch out for. Because somecases look different than others there is a question that has helped me profoundly in the field.
This question is what has been the biggest game changer for me. If I pick up warning signs or someone who’s demonstrating the 4 major signs I look for when watching out for suicidal behavior (or really anytime depression or anxiety rears its head) I ask this miracle question. This question, that initially scared me because I didn’t want to make people uncomfortable, has helped me because knowing the answer beats wondering. Ok, its not a miracle but it is very effective:
“Are you suicidal?” it’s remarkably easy… and no you’re not going to be the inventor of the wheel. We’ve heard in the news or seen on TV the presence of this real life threat quite possibly daily. Ask hard questions because you care. Ask hard questions because you never want to wish you would have asked…. Ask Follow up questions
If they report not being suicidal and you don’t believe them talk to them till you do. If you never do seek professional help. Report it if need be. Report it because them being mad at you is way better than wishing they could be mad at you. If they report being suicidal talk to them and accompany them to professional help. Contact their support system and go together. Even professionals in some cases and risks seek more professional help. Counselors cannot follow you home and make sure you make good choices, If they think you’re at risk they seek professional help. Psychiatrist … Doctors… police… They use numbers and systems to help them do whatever it takes to make sure people get to the point of not being at risk. If they mean something to you that you will do everything in your power to help. Seek help! As much of it as you can get. It’s worth it.
My last thought with this question will not be a popular one, but with the questions approach, I have to tell you that if you asked and they’ve answered and you believed their denial and something terrible happens… ultimately individuals are responsible for their actions. Do what you can do, watch out for what you can, ask hard questions, take action to help where you can. There is no 100% error proof or people proof solution for this problem; but every little bit that we can do together helps.
